Be Yourself

You were put on this Earth to be yourself, to be Real. You are not here to be what others expect or want you to be.

No one is perfect; not you, your parents or anyone else. We are all human and all make mistakes. That is part of Life, so is forgiving, forgetting and moving on. 

The one thing you should always do, is Stand Up for Yourself and the ones you Love. (This doesn't mean physically. You can let others know that you will not tolerate gossiping, etc.)

No one has the right to judge you (or your loved ones), they do not know what you're going through nor what you've been through to get to where you are in Life. 

Always stick close to those who have always been there for you. Never turn your back on a best friend or a close loved one. You never know when you will need that person again.

First Step To A Successful Relationship

Marriage and Relationships take 100% from each partner in order to be a successful and long lasting relationship. Any less than 100% on either partners behalf, and there will be problems.

The main factor in any relationship (friendship, relationship, marriage, etc.) is Trust. Without Trust, you have nothing. It is the foundation for everything.

Some examples: if you check your significant others cell phone regularly to check text messages, email or phone calls, that is not Trust. If you require their passwords to their social media networks and you check them regularly, this also proves that you do not Trust your partner.

These are only a couple of examples. Stop and ask yourself, do you do any of these things to your partner or visa versa? If so, how long do you really think the relationship is going to last?

If you know that your relationship is at this point, or if comes to this point, and you still want things to work; your only hope is counseling.

When Life Gives You Lemons

Everything in Life happens for a reason. The majority of the time, we do not know what the reason may be.

It could be to make us a stronger person or to open our eyes to things that we weren't noticing before.

Then we learn to appreciate the good times, the good things and the good people/friends in our life.

Life is full of ups and downs, lessons and tests. How we "act" and how we "react" - both says a lot about us.

I've learned to never take anything or anyone for granted. Those that are close to us need to know regularly that we love, need and appreciate them.

And, as the saying goes, "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade!"

Don't Worry - Be Happy

Happy people are happy because they Choose to be happy.

They do not let others rain on their parade. They do not hang on to anger or grudges. (This would cause them to be unhappy.)

It takes a lot of Strength and Will-power to get through some things in life, but for those who are determined to be happy, that is not a problem!

Then you have the Other kind of people - the Bitter people.

These people are rarely truly happy because they hang on to anger, hold grudges, they are unable to forgive. They do not have the strength nor the will-power to let go of the past or let by-gones be by-gones.

These type of people also usually have very few friends. (No one wants to be around someone so negative, someone who creates drama or is always miserable.)

On occasion these types of people can temporarily mask their true colors. But it doesn't take people long to see their true colors and to avoid them at all costs.

Be yourself - but Choose to be Happy.

5 Differences Between a Boy and a Man

5 Differences Between a Boy and a Man

1. A Boy will find a Job.

    A Man will find a Career.

2. A Boy will disrespect his parents. (Because he feels like he has something to "prove")

    A Man will Honor his Parents and value the time he has with them while they're still living. 

3. A Boy doesn't realize the damage his words and actions can cause, and doesn't care.

    A Man chooses his words wisely and makes good decisions. (Has good judgement)

4. A Boy will let anyone make wise-cracks about his loved ones: family, friends, etc. 

    A Man will not allow anyone to bad talk those he loves in front of him. (Even if he has to leave the room, etc.)

5. A Boy will Lie - to anyone (family, friends. Girlfriend/Spouse, etc.) Usually because he simply doesn't have the Courage it takes to be Honest. 

    A Man knows that Honesty is the best Policy. He will always be Honest even if there are consequences. 

These are only a few of the tell-tale signs between Boys and Men. Pay attention to the male's behavior and attitude, you will know within a week (or less) which one you have; a Boy or a Man. 

I've been around since 1939, and the old saying is (if you plan on marrying a man):

"Watch the way a man treats his Mother, because that is the same way he will treat you one day" 

And of all my years on this Earth, I've known this to be true. 

Top 5 Signs of Depression

Many of us have gone through a depression at some point in our life. Sometimes Life throws things at us that we feel we can't deal with. 

It is harder than you think for a person to pull themselves out of depression. If you've never been there, then it'd be almost impossible for you to understand. 

Anyway the Top 5 Signs of Depression are:

1. Sleeping too much (When they are sleeping, they do not have to deal with reality)

2. Not getting enough sleep (Their mind is racing about everything and they cannot make it stop long enough to get a good night sleep)

3. Talking about Committing Suicide (Even though over half of them would never actually do it)

4. Loss of Appetite (Stress can cause you to have no appetite at all)

5. Eating too much (Using food as a drug, hoping it will somehow make you feel better, if only temporarily)

If you know someone who is depressed, the WORSE things you can say to them are

"Oh pull yourself out of it"

"Get over it"

Or anything similiar to these statements. These statements prove you have never experienced major depression yourself, and you only make the depressed person feel worse. (Your words are proof that you aren't understanding and make them feel as though their feelings are unimportant to you & perhaps to others as well)

The best thing you can do for a depressed person is let them talk when they are ready. Be a friend, lend an ear, a shoulder to cry on, don't be judgemental. 

If the person isn't already on medication for depression, you may want to gradually and gently recommend that they talk to their Dr. about their depression. (There are many medications now days that can treat it.) 

If they are already on medication, perhaps it isn't strong enough or they may need a different type of medication. 

Regardless, try to be more considerate and understanding. 

Good Friends are Hard to Find (fake friends are Everywhere)

Be careful who you talk to. Not everyone who offers you an "ear" - really cares about you nor your problems. They just want to have something to gossip about or something to hold over your head later. 

It's hard now days to find friends who are trustworthy. 

Most people now days either lie or are 2-faced. (Or both.)

Which makes it really difficult to find good friends, to say the least. 

If you are lucky enough to find a good friend - don't ever let them go. Never take advantage of their friendship or their trust and always appreciate them. 

Life-long friends are a blessing, so are family members who are also good friends. 

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

A person's actions will tell you everything you need to know about them. The way a person treats you says nothing about you, but it says a lot about them. Words mean nothing anymore.

You can say anything you want, but that doesn't make it true. You can say "I love you" (to anyone) a thousand times, but your actions is what will tell if you really love someone or not. This applies to any and all types of relationships and friendships.

 Everyone has heard the saying "Actions Speak Louder Than Words." If a person really loved you, they would never make you cry, never lie to you and never intentionally break your heart.

 And when you treat a person badly for so long, don't expect them to keep hanging on. Do not be surprised when they are no longer there. A person can only hang on for so long, no matter if you were once the center their world, their life will go on.

What Happened to Respect?

Teaching Respect Starts At Home

Things are so different now than they were in my day. 

In my day, if you were disrespectful to an adult, you either got your mouth slapped or a whipping when you got home. 

However, I see so many disrespectful young ones now days, more teen-agers more than anything. 

Parents Please - Teaching your children to be respectful starts at HOME -- And you start teaching them at a young age.

You do not wait and expect the school or church to teach your child how to be respectful of/to others. Teaching them respect is part of being a Parent. 

They carry that disrespect (and bad attitude) with them everywhere they go: to school, church, family's and/or friends homes. And when they are older, they carry it to work and anywhere else they go. 

Usually those that are disrespectful - are selfish individuals as well. They do believe the world revolves around them. (Little do they know how wrong they are.)

Do You Control Your Life? Or Does Someone Else?

If you are a grown woman or man, you should be in control of your life.

Never give anyone control of your life. Never let them make your decisions for you. Never allow people to give you ultimatums. (Especially when it comes to "You choose between me or so-n-so!") This applies to Friends and Relatives. (Not cheaters)

When you give someone else control of your life, they will mess it up for you - and the problem is that YOU are the one who has to deal with the consequences. (They will not care about the damages they have caused.)

YOU will be held responsible for things that you did not do, decisions YOU did not make.

Over my many years I've been on this Earth, I've met all kinds of people. And I can tell you for certain the saying is true: "You can't judge a book by its cover."

I've met people who looked like they were homeless or hoodlums, but turned out to be some of the best, most honest and trustworthy people you could ever meet.

And I've met people that were beautiful/handsome, well dressed, etc. They would appear to be shy and/or sweet, but turned out to be some of the most dishonest and untrustworthy people you could ever meet.

Do not put your life in the hands of someone else for them to control you. (No matter how much you think you can trust them.) Do not be someone else's puppet. I promise, in the long run, you will eventually regret it.

When Someone Doesn't Love You

If someone doesn't want to be part of your life, no matter who they are (spouse, parent, grown child, friend, etc) let them go!

You can only do so much for a person. When you have given it your all, and they are unappreciative and decide they don't want you in their life - let them go!

There are certain things you just cannot force in life. Some examples:
You can't force someone to love you. (Or care about you)
You can't force someone to forgive you. (No matter what you do to try to make amends.)
And you can't force someone to have common sense.

And think about this, If they loved you in any kind of way, they wouldn't be excluding you from their life. And like I said, you can't force someone to love you.

Forgiveness Takes Strength

Someone who cannot apologize when they know they were in the wrong, has Problems.

And someone who will not accept another persons apologizes or attempts of making things up to them, is a Weak Person

And a person who cannot forget the past, but must dwell on it, discuss it regularly, hold grudges, is a Miserable Person. 

And everyone knows Misery loves company - so they will attempt to pull as many people into the conflict as possible. 

Those people who choose to be weak and miserable - there is nothing you can do about it. 

Some people are just pure evil and it would please them to see you beg and grovel. (Even knowing they aren't going to forgive you anyway, they just love the attention.)

Do not give in to these kind of selfish attention-seekers. 

If your attempts of apologizing and/or trying to make up doesn't work - then drop it. 

You (and others) will know that you were the strong one, and they were the weak one. 

The Right Woman For You

The right woman will not want you for things such as: money, expensive gifts, just to get away from home, or just because she's insecure or jealous & thinks that marrying you is the only way to make sure she keeps you. 

You will know when then the right woman comes along, both of you will know it. She will think about you all the time. Little things will make her happy and smile or laugh. 

She will be happy just getting to spend time with you, it could be sitting in a car in a driveway. (It doesn't have to be an expensive restaurant, prom, etc)

She will talk to her friends about you. She would never lie to you for anything in the world. She would try to make a good impression on your family. 

If you ever have to ask yourself "Is this love?" or "Am I in love?" Then you know it isn't love, not true love anyway. 

Of course there's always puppy love, a crush, infatuation, but those things will wear off eventually. Many young whippersnappers and jezebels mistake love for one of these other things. 

The Types of Liars

You have 2 different kind of Liars.

1) The "Little white Liars" as most people call them. (No, honey, your butt doesn't look big in those jeans.)

And you have the worse - the Habitual Liars.

Habitual Liars have perfected their skills at lying so well that they never give off any of the tell-tale signs of an inexperienced Liar.

They can look you straight in the eye and tell you a lie without blinking, without flinching, without nervousness or anything.

These are the kind to really watch out for. Especially if you are close to one. (sibling, child, spouse)

They will repeat a lie so many times, that even though you knew it was not so to begin with, they will continue to harp on it until they have you believing them. (They basically brainwash you) They will turn you against anyone who sees their true colors, also.

If you are personally close to this person, you cannot see it. But others (outsiders, ones not "close" to them) can see it from miles away.

It takes a really strong person to open up their eyes and see the truth. Learn to stand your ground. (For your own dignity if nothing else) Do not allow them to brainwash you with the non-stop continuous lies when you know it doesn't sound right. (Usually your gut instinct should tell you this.)

Parents Are Not Perfect

Parents are only human, just like you and everyone else on Earth. Yes, they will make mistakes from time to time, it's all part of being a Human Being! No human being is Perfect, and you shouldn't expect your parents to be. 

(In most cases) Your parents did their best in raising you. If you ever turn your back on them or hold a grudge against them because they are imperfect then YOU are the one in the wrong and the one with the problem - not them. 

Remember also, that your Parents will not live forever, many teens and young adults do not realize this. They assume that mom and/or dad will ALWAYS be there. 

But no one knows when is the last time you will see someone, the last time you will tell them Goodbye or Good Night. (The last time you will ignore their call or text if you're upset with them.)

Love your parents while they're still living and don't be afraid to show it. 

Getting Married Just Because She's Pregnant

Young men - you do not have to marry a female "only" because she's pregnant. 

Yes, you do need to take responsibility. You need to keep a job, pay child support and be part of the child's life as much as possible. 

A lot of couples now days are getting joint custody - that may be something you want to think about or check into. And if the female is an unfit mother - then of course, you would want to fight for full custody. 

Too many young males feel "trapped" if they get their girlfriend or date pregnant. The female usually talks many of them into marriage, even if the guy isn't in love with them. 

This is when you know a marriage is headed for doom. When you aren't IN LOVE WITH HER, you aren't going to be happy. Chances are - you will eventually Cheat, seeking what you are missing - LOVE.

Also when you marry (and it's not out of "love") the Chances of divorce are much higher. 

Even if the marriage were to last ten years, do you really want your child to see you so unhappy in the marriage & all of the marital problems that will definitely arise? (Even if you can manage to pretend to be "happy" at first, that will eventually wear off.) 

Marriage is a serious step and should last forever. Don't take that big of a step with someone you aren't in love with. 

A Little About Me

Been there, done that, seen it, heard it, experienced it, etc. 

No, I'm not "Dear Abby", I am Dear Hilda. Many moons ago I had a column in the local town where my ex-husband and I resided.

I decided to create a blog, because I have a lot of good advice to offer - not only to teens and young adults, but to parents as well. 

Bookmark this page or subscribe by email (if you're on a computer it's on the sidebar.)

It's no telling what you may hear (read) come out of this old lady's mouth. I'll have you laughing, crying, second guessing and thinking. 

If you have any questions for me at all, feel free to use the contact form on the sidebar.